2004 A Thai Christmas Story in Rural Chai Nat Province

Christmas class photo from the Sapphaya Elementary School for Christmas

Christmas started for me this year by teaching 3 hours at the elementary school in Sapphaya on Christmas Eve day where I read some stories to the children and sang Jingle Bells. There was also a photo session in which a professional photographer came and took photos of the students as well as the teachers. Although the students really don’t understand the meaning of Christmas they understand it well enough that each class gave me either a card or a small gift, all of which were delightful. One couldn’t help but feel love for these kids and their sincere generosity.

Ajarn Anong Dechatiwong, English Department Director with her students at Sapphaya Witthaya High School

After I walked back to the high school and after a bit of lunch, I helped with the final preparations with a Christmas show at Sapphaya Witthaya High School. My department and its students spent many days preparing for the show which turned out to be quite entertaining and at times quite funny.

Ajarn Anong who heads the high school’s English department organized the Christmas program. She is truly an amazing lady and an excellent teacher and commands great respect from her students, staff and myself. The program’s success really showed just how much respect she gets and what she can do.

Celebrations began with the students gathering in the combination gymnasium and auditorium at 1PM. A band had set up and consisted of several boys from the high school. After a while a few songs were performed before the required speeches that followed.

As is usual just about anywhere in the world (and especially in Thailand), strap on a guitar or sit behind a stack of drums, and you immediately turn into a rock and roll band with wild eyed, screaming, female groupies.

After the band had played a few tunes, several speeches were made with the program turning to other activities including an English contest of 10 questions of which I was the “Master of Ceremonies”. Four teams consisting of 2 students listened and than answered a series of 10 questions mostly consisting of Thai politics and geography. After this was finished, a Santa Clause contest was performed.

The dozen or so participants ranged from fat ones to thin ones to little ones to big ones…and of course, in typical Thai fashion, the mandatory lady boy Santa. Voting was accomplished by clapping and screaming for each candidate with the fattest and jolliest of the Santa’s winning the contest (he was my choice as well!)

After the celebration ended, I waited an hour or so for my ride to the Christmas English Camp in which I was to teach in that evening and the following day. The director of the camp, Ajarn Wirote picked me up around 5PM and off we headed for the next part of my Christmas Eve/Christmas Day activities.

Christmas Day English Camp at Wat Pho-Ngam School

Had had gotten dark by the time we arrived at the camp but students and teachers were everywhere. Ajarn Wirote soon got things organized and shortly had them setting around the perimeter of an asphalt court in front of the school’s administration building. As there had been no coordination with me as to my part in the camp’s activities, I was wondering just how and when my “services” were to be rendered. The answer to the “how” came shortly after the program started with me being handed a Santa Claus suit.

Ajarn Wirote and one of his 'elves' at English Camp on Christmas Eve

Just so everyone knows, I am not a Santa Clause suit kind of guy but in an effort to put my best foot forward for the kids, acquiesced to it and tried to put on what was obviously made for an elf, not Mr. Clause! I did however manage to pull it over my clothes from school and piled into the hand cart that I was to be wheeled around the children in.

Wheeling around the inside circle of the children I threw out candy to everyone with blaring Christmas music accompanying my trip. Shortly after this little excursion, I was trying my best at signing songs I had no idea what the words were but because I was a “native speaker” was expected to know. At least we had already established the fact that I did not play guitar….and just for good measure I also mentioned I was a terrible dancer!

Teaching in Thailand is all about entertainment and like I have told others who have wanted to come and teacher here, be prepared to entertain as the two cardinal rules in teaching is to not be boring and you must look “handsome” or “pretty”. Thank Buddha I still know some decent jokes and I haven’t lost my hair!

Anyway. The evening’s “official” agenda eventually ended and I managed to find myself in the company of some wonderful ladies who just wanted to sing. As it turned out, we managed to sing for three hours with many of the songs being English which I had long forgotten but as it was Christmas Eve, brought fond memories of earlier times and places back to me.

Around 10PM after about an hour of Karaoke signing, one of the male members of the camp staff walked up to me and offered me some form of small animal that had obviously been deep-fried. I sort of stared at it and couldn’t quite place what kind of carcass I was looking at. It than begin to dawn on me this was something I wasn’t use to eating and sure enough, only a few moments later Suzanne who was setting next to me whispered that it was fried rat! Oh yum I thought…

Now I have traveled the world and have eaten just about everything including chicken feet, fried locust and even rat (sometimes...) but somehow, the though of munching down a deep fried rat as my Christmas dinner was just a bit more than I could stomach for this particular night.

Can you imagine every Christmas after that being asked what you ate for Christmas Dinner last year and telling your host that, “Oh yeah, while at an English camp in Thailand in 2004 I had some delicious rat!”….shortly followed by me watching my host running to the toilet to throw up….

Suzanne, a wonderful lady and excellent English teacher!

Although my esteemed colleague was insistent in my taking the rat, I was thinking (and just as insistent) that this was not going to be on my Christmas Eve dinner list! I did win this particular discussion however but it did leave me with quite a bit to laugh about with the Thai English teacher Suzanne as I tried to describe this experience through western eyes.

The other teachers and me were having a bit of fun singing and 10 PM soon turned into midnight but as I was dead tired, I asked to be excused and made my way to my assigned cot that was obviously part of the school’s clinic. After cocooning myself with my blanket to insulate myself from the kamikaze diving mosquitoes, I finally drifted off to sleep and in what seemed like only minutes later, was awoken by the sound of blaring speakers and music.

Many Thai Christmas Elves Dancing and Singing at 3AM in the morning!

Looking at my watch once, than twice and than three times, it confirmed that it was only 3AM in the morning and in fact had only been minutes later! Thinking something was wrong with my watch, I took my blanket off and looked out the window only to see the night’s darkness being pierced with the light of light’s mounted on poles…..and hundreds of students dancing and screaming in front the school’s administration area.

This was just a bit too much to handle so I told myself to get back in bed and try and get some more sleep. Fortunately I was able to get some but awoke once again at 5:30 AM, once again seeing the same highly energized group of students outside my window. Feeling a bit guilty at this point for sleeping so late, I decided it was time to get up and join the camp’s Christmas festivities.

Pulling together some toiletries, I exited my room and made my way down towards where I had been told there was a toilet I could use. Finding the room and toilet, I quickly discovered that I was once again faced with some pretty simple and primitive basics again and after finding a bowl to hold some water, managed to shave without the assistance of a mirror. As there was no shower, I used the same bowl to pour water over my head and body and performed a wash of sorts. Drying myself with a hand towel I had found next to a bowl of water in the clinic, I dried myself off and headed back to my room to only discover the students breaking up which turned out to be for breakfast.

Getting my act together and after getting dressed, I left my room and discovered a room close by which turned out to be the Director’s office where Suzanne volunteered to fix me some tea and later some coffee. We were soon joined by a man who turned out to be the school director where the English camp was being hosted.

As I had been a Christmas cake the previous day, I went back to my room and got it and offered it to the others. I was asked by the Director if I liked Singha and answered in the affirmative thinking that later that evening we might share a beer together. This was not to be the case as a few minutes later a bottle of Singha was produced and at 07:30 AM in the morning on Christmas Day, I was poured a glass of beer (which I of course graciously accepted). It seems that everyone expects farangs (foreigners) to drink beer in the morning. Why should I be any different I guess???

Not finishing the beer but finishing the cake, the Chinese tea and the small cup of coffee, I left the room to go outside and roam amongst the students milling about the school yard eating their morning rice breakfast.

Every student was wonderful and willing to try a limited form of communication. Mostly all conversations were limited to “How are you?” with the typical canned “I am fine, and you?” response. Past that, everything comes to a screeching halt. All conversation is canned and if it does not fit what has been previously programmed, communications and understanding terminates.

What also continues to astound me is the lack or capability of spoken English by most teachers who are identified as English teachers. I guess I can understand this if they told me they were Thai, geography, science or music teachers, ….but English teachers? One would expect that they could at least be able to have a simple conversation with native speakers but as I have found out more and more in Thailand, this is not the case. I guess if someone tells me they are a pilot, I sort of expect them to know what a plane is...

During the second day of the camp I was invited to sit with three teachers, all of which the school director told me were English teachers. If it hadn’t been for his ability to translate from Thai to English, there wouldn’t have been much interaction as only one lady could say anything and that consisted of “I love you!” I guess however in some parts of the world that is enough…

The day ended with clapping exercises in the main hall and singing. Everyone in Thailand loves pictures of both themselves and others and here at camp was no exception. For the better part of an hour, everyone was taking photos of everyone else with me being the center of attention for numerous photographs.

In reality, this has nothing to do with me, it is part of the fact that you are the “foreigner” and in many places, knowing, touching or having a photo taken with one is something Thai’s do. As the only foreigner in the camp and most probably the first that most of the children had ever physically seen, I was more of a curiosity or oddity than anything else. This is something however if you teach here that has to be expected.

One interesting thing that I have noticed at both the schools I teach at (especially the elementary school) and at the camp as well, is the effort both adults and students make to physically touch you in some way, either by shaking your hand after a class or rubbing up against you if the opportunity presents itself. Even older adults at times will set extremely close to you so that their shoulder or leg touches yours or even being so bold as to touch your leg or some other part of your body. I only mention this as if you are exposed to this while you are teaching or living in Thailand, it is quite normal and to be expected. Of course in the west, it is totally unacceptable and most would consider it quite inappropriate as “personal space” is something (that when violated) can make most westerners very uncomfortable. Most Thais however don’t understand or know about this so go with the flow on this one.

by Ajarn Charlie

Merry Christmas !!!